Health food be damned!

So Jerry and I went grocery shopping yesterday. It was supposed to have been a light trip -- dog food, cat food, lunch items for the girls this week. Imagine my surprise when the register rang up $112 worth of stuff. WTF? Who put that Star magazine in the cart? Why are we buying shampoo that costs 7-freakin'-dollars? And this 60-minute Tracfone card has GOT to go.

Hold up! Where did this blasted fruit come from? Who eats this crap?

That's right. Jerry and Paige got a bright idea about this thing they call fruit. The cart is full of apples, oranges, bananas, grapes and strawberries -- we were a veritable farmer's market on wheels (but with cat litter on the bottom).

Alright, I'm all in for a challenge. It is quite possible I could forgo my nightly Little Debbie cake for some apple chunks with peanut butter. So we are at home putting groceries away, and Jerry tells me I need to wash the fruit. Excuse me? I have to "prepare" the fruit? Why, that's practically COOKING and lord knows I don't take kindly to that type of torture.

Well, fine. So I'm washing the strawberries. They look so pretty and luscious and red! Maybe this fruit thing was not such a bad idea after all! But wait ...

The grapes had a special gift just for me. In the bottom of the strainer was a fly and a flippin' spider! Alive and wriggling. Good god. Jerry said it is normal for bugs and stuff to be on your fruit, but I say no. That's just dang creepy.

Okie dokey ... back to the Little Debbie's. Swiss Cake Roll, anyone?